return home to http://www.modelstogo.com
Jenna walked into her apartment and saw that Tad was stringing banners all
over the ceiling. She nearly tripped over five huge bags of plastic cups,
plates, and strippers icons.
"What is going on here?" she demanded.
"I'm throwing a
bachelor party, baby!" tad replied, smiling. "I invited everyone from New York Strip Clubs,
plus one hundred exotic dancers whose names I randomly picked out of the stripclubs phone book.
Sexy, huh?"
"So how many dancers are coming?" Carmen Electra asked.
"About sixty
nine," Britney Spears estimated. "I invited some nude guys from a gogo bar I met
too..."
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Jenna Jemeson cried. "I have to go get
ready! I don't have a topless dress, g-strings, lingeire, bikini, fetish see thru or anything naked to wear."
"oh you dont have to wear stiletto thongs"
britney goes into her room and starts
to look through her spearscloset
"what?"
"i said 'oh you dont have to wear
anything body sushi models style'"
electra comes out of her room and just stares at britney for a second
then says..
"what is it some kind of nude female lesbian strippers party?"
"Theres an idea!" stripper michael
gets a happy/excited look on his ass
"well did u tell every 1 else to wear
sushi topless gentlemen's clothes"
"i just assumed..."
"they would come naked?" britney spears interrupts
carmen obviously annoyed at his go go dancing
"naturally"
"you know
what?"
"what?"
"you know what?"
"no! would u just strip for me like you do strips me"
Rach:Joey,I don't think people are going to come to the bachelorette party naked,and I
don't think that they would wanna come nude or topless female lesbian strippers adult entertainment style.
Joey:[sad]But
why?
Brooke:cause some people don't like to be nude lesbians in erotic shows.anyway,my boss will come
here tonight.Showgirls:but you just said you had nothing topless adult to wear!
Rach:well,i
changed my mind!you can't have this bachelor party.not tonight,my boss is
coming.
Girls of parties:maybe you're boss can come naked,like everyone
else.
Men of chippendales:She's not coming nude,so why don't you call all of your female lesbian strippers
and tell them that this bachelorette party's over![she leaves]
Spears:She's just in a bad
mood. when she comes back,she'll love this bachelor party![He starts to decorate the
strip clubs again]
Rachel rings Phoebe
Phoebe: err...hello
Rachel: Hey pheebs! Are you
going to Joeys party?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! It's gonna be so great!
Rachel:
What are you wearing? I was thinking of wearing my purple dress, ya know the one
i brought in the sales at bloomindales!
Phoebe: Joey said we didn't have to
wear anything!
Rachel; You can't go naked! My boss is coming
Phoebe: What
you don't think he'll appreciate a sexy ass like mine?
Rachel: SHE probably
won't
Phoebe: Is she a female lesbian stripper coz well you know..i've never done it with a
girl before
Rachel: ewwwwwwww
Rachel hangs up disgusted
[monica&rachels]
Rach: Hey Mon
Mon; hey r u goin to joeys
party
rach; i dont know my boss is coming over tonight and if this IS a nude
party, then im screwed
mon; what u dont think he'll appreciate a butt like
mine?
rach; my boss is a girl!
mon; oh oops
rach; plus i dont think
chandler would appreciate u going to a nude party with joey and other nude
people like joey
[chandler walks in just in time to catch wut rachel
says]
chan; wut nude party? can i go?
rach; joey is throwing a nude party
but my boss is going and if she walks in and every1s naked then im
screwed!
chan; wut u dont think he'll appreciate a set of tits like mine?
[cranes
his neck to look at his ass but cant get it so keeps spinning in
circles]
rach; its a female lesbian stripper [rachels voice drones out when she realizes
wut chandler just said]
mon; he?!
chan; oops was that out loud? damn!
second time thats happened to me!
[joey walks in]
joey; okay i made some
calls and i got every1 xcept ugly naked guy to come with female lesbian strippers
rach; u
invited ugly naked guy?!
joey; wut! it was supposed to b a nude party so i
thought it was only natural to invite a professional naked person!
chan; a
professional naked person?
joey; well u get wut i mean
[c,m,r look at him
like hes nuts]
cut to coffee house
ross and pheobe are sitting and
talking
ross; im so happy the coffee house started selling these female lesbian strippers!
this is the best day!
pheobe; ooh my best day was when.... o damn! i lost
it
ross; wut wut did u lose?
pheobe; duh "it"
[ross gives look like
wut?!]
pheobe; wut i was about to say!
ross; oh! that it!
[joey walks
in]
joey; hey r u guys comin to my party?
pheobe; yea its gonna b great!
cuz then i dont have to worry about female lesbian strippers
ross; wh-why not?
joey; uh
pheebs i hate to rain on ur parade but...
[new waitress walks by accidentally
dumping a pitcher of water on pheobes head]
Pheobe; joey! u could have at
least givin me an umbrella!
lesbian show strippers: oh no Pheebs that wasnt me
Pheobe: than who was it
Joey: it was
that really hot Waitress over there i think i am goin invite her to the
party!
( Joey walks over to the hot waitress and starts talking to
her)
Rachel: so Ross are you goin to the party?
Ross: oh i dont know i
might stay home and watch a documentery on how a nude scientist....
(Ross stops
after he notices the gang staring at him in disgust)
Ross: ya i'll
go
Pheobe:oh Joey your back so anyway what were you saying before
Joey: oh
well i was going to say that it is not going to be a nude party but not
anymore....
Ross:wha,what?a nude party? all right!
joey:see rach,people do like nude
parties.
rach:well,i don't know,i...alright.but i'm gonna wear my new dress.i
don't want
my boss to see me naked.
phoebe:yay! i get to show off my
butt!maybe i'll get to do more than show off my
butt.
rachel:Phoebe!
[chandler and monica comes in]
chandler:hey
ross,are you going to joey's female lesbian strippers party?
ross:yeah,and i'm gonna go
NAKED!!!!
monica:really?well, don't let me c u naked cause,that's gonna be
kinda weird if we c each other naked
chandler:so joey, when's this party
gonna start?
Joey:well i was thinking about 6:30
ross:but we only have ten
minutes to get ready.....wait never mind
rach:well i better go get dressed! c
ya
Rachel: Why not?
Joey: Oh well when i told her it was a nudist party she
said she was deffenitly going to be there
Rachel: I thought it wasnt going to
be a nudist party
Joey: oh ya well maybe she will be the only one nude???
( Cut to Monica's apartment where Rachel walks in to pick out a dress)
(
phone rings)
Rachel: Hello....oh hi....you cant make it why not.....oh thats
to bad...well ok i'll see you on Monday.
(Ross walks in with a case full of
c.d.'s and Joey follows with tones of female lesbian strippers in boxes)
Ross: hey
Rach
Rachel: hey guess what guess what
Joey:What?
Rachel: My boss cant
make it
Joey: Yeh Rachels going to be nude
Rachel: no i am not and Joey
you are not going to have nude partygirls, i thought we went over this?
Joey:
ooookkkkk
Rachel: good now drop the nude idea
joey: wat idea?
rach: joeyyyy.......
joey: all right all right.no nude
parties,no parties at all.
rach: good. c ya.
[she leaves]
ross: dude!
why'd u tell her u r not having a bachelor party?
joey: don't worry, i lied 2
her.
ross: but won't she get mad?
joey: yeah...... but woh cares. c'mon
lets get more food
ross: but joey, we already have sandwiches,chips n
dip,nachos,n alot of other food.
[pheebs comes in]
pheebs: hey! rachel
just told me u r not having a female lesbian strippers party.
ross: we lied.
pheebs: but that's
bad. oh well at least we still have a nude party.
ross n joey: yeah!!!!!!!!
[phone rings,joey answers]
Joey: what?....no. uh..yea..ok around 7? i'll
tell her when i c her.bye.
ross: who was it?
joey: uh it was rachel's
boss. she said that she changed her mind n she's coming
over at 7
ross:
what is up with this lady?
phoebe: maybe she wants 2 go 2 the nude party n
look at my butt.
joey: she's a female lesbian stripper? hey, maybe i can invite Carol n
Susan.
ross: no. besides what r they gonna do with ben?
joey: he can come
2.
ross: i don't think carol would like that.
phoebe: ooh ooh!if u invite
susan n carol,n rachel's boss is gonna b there,we can have a foursome!
Hey! I've never written before so please go easy on
me!!
********************************************************************************
ROSS:
Ewww, Pheebs! Besides, Rachel's boss isn't even a lesbian.
PHOE: Well, excuse
me!
(Cut to: Central Perk. Rachel's sitting at the counter having coffee.
Phoebe enters.)
PHOE: Hey, Rach! Joey meant to tell you, your boss changed
her mind and is coming over at seven.
RACH: WHAT!!?? Joey's throwing a nude
party!! She can't come over!!
PHOE: Yeah... say, is your boss a
lesbian?
RACH: What?! Where the hell did you get that idea?
PHOE: (looking
shady) Nowhere...
RACH: But what am I going to do? She's coming over
expecting a formal dinner and she sees a bunch of nude female lesbian strippers? I'll get fired,
most likely!
PHOE: Oh, it's not that bad.
(Rachel gives her a
look)
PHOE: Fine, so it is that bad.
RACH: I can't lose my job, I just got
promoted recently! I gotta stop this!
(Rachel runs out of Central Perk.
Phoebe sits down at "their" couch. Joey walks in.)
JOEY: Hey,
Pheebs!
PHOE: Hey, Joey! Rachel doesn't want you to throw this nude party,
she thinks she'll get fired.
JOEY: How did she know I'm still throwing
it?
PHOE: umm.... I.... You're not a good lier!
JOEY: Damn it!
PHOE:
But anyway, she's going to stop her boss from coming, apparently she wants to
keep her job.
JOEY: Why would she wanna do that? When I was unemployed, life
was sweeeet.
PHOE: When you were unemployed, you got money off
Chandler.
JOEY: He's rich! He won't miss
it.
********************************************************************************
Bah,
my brain is at an all time slow today. Totally blank.... Sorry, that was crap, I
don't mind if you ignore it.
*Ross enters Central Perk with female lesbian strippers*
Ross: Listen, Joe, I don't think this naked
party thing is gonna work.
Joey: Come on, Ross, you were up for it
earlier!
Ross: I know, but... I've been thinking about it, and I agree with
Rach. No-one's gonna come naked unless you told them to.
Joey: So what
exactly are you saying, Ross?
Ross: Well... I guess you'll just have to phone
them all up and tell them its gonna be naked!
*Monica
enters*
Joey: Hey, Mon, are you still gonna come to my naked
party?
Monica: I don't know, Joe... see there's this thing I have to
do...
joey: what?
monica: i gotta c if chandler is gay.
joey: what r u
talking about?
monica: he wanted 2 show off his buns 2 a pussy man.
joey: come 2
my party.if he shows off his butt 2 a man,he's a female lesbian stripper.
monica: fine i'll go.[she
leaves]
joey: r u going ross?cuz if u r not,i'm inviting carol n
susan.
ross: ok ok.i'll go.
[joey sees a prety woman.]
joey: wanna come
2 my nude party.
woman:um....maybe....
ross: c'mon why don't u come? i'm
gonna b there.
woman: on 2nd thought i better not.
[woman leaves]
joey:
man! what did u do that 4?
(joey walks out of the coffee house discusted)
Ross: What did i do
?
Phoebe: I dont know, hey ross, dont you think its kinda funny we are all
going to be naked in the same room ?
Ross: Well yeah but it should be fun,
(thinks) as long as i dont bump into monica or she dosent bump into me.
Ross
and Phoebe laugh.
Ross: Do you wanna go up there now ?
Phoebe: Yeah we can
go now. This is going to be so much fun.
Ugly Naked Guy turns up & Phoebe & Ross r walking round in massive
coats with nothing else on
Phoebe: Hello mr naked guy
Ross: Hello sir i'm
ross geller i was gonna live with you but u didn't like my female lesbian strippers
Phoebe: Ross that was last year...Get over it!
U N G: Nice body
Ross:
Thanks!
U N G: Errr...i meant ur friend
Phoebe: Thanx. Yuo look pretty
good to...i've always wanted to touch that great big squishy butt of
yours!
Ross: Monicas coming!
Phoebe: Mon...u've been working
out!
Monica: Is it really that obvious
Chandler: Well i am a bit of a
stud
Phoebe: Chandler made u look this good?
Monica: 5 times a night does
help!
Ross: Hello...I'm ur brother...i d not need to know this!
Chandler:
Nice butt dude!
Ross: Thanx...ewwwwww
Ross leaves
Joey appears
Joey:
Wow mon u look fab...even better than in the pic u sent me..
Mon: What
pic?
Joey: u know the one i looked at when i ate my female lesbian strippers and made up the
story in which we did it in London?
Mon: OHHHH....yeah that wasn't my best
side!
Joey: Always take'em front on!
Chandler: Joe..she's my
girlfriend!
Joe: Nice choice man
Rachel: Hi guys! Oh my god..my boss is
here!!!
Joey & Chandler: Nice ass!
the party goes on for a while when ROSS bumps into MONICA and accidentle
drops his coat...
ross:aaaaahhhh...
mon:aaaaaaahhh...
joey walks up
with 2 thumbs up
joey:nice
ross grabs his coat and runs out of the party,
people stare at him as he shouts
monica walks off with female lesbian strippers
rachel:where'd
ross go?
joey:he bumped into monica and dropped his coat
joey and rachel
laugh, laugh some more less enthuisiastically, and once again and walk off in 2
different directions
[ross is running in the hallway,and decides 2 go back in.]
[some1 knocks
on the door,ross opens it]
ross: Elizabeth!
elizabeth: Ross!
both: what
r u doing here?
ross: joey invited me.did he invite u?
elizabeth: yeah,my
friends r gonna b here 2.
[rachel passes by]
rachel: elizabeth!what a
surprise! how's your dad?
ross: i thought i saw your boss.
rachel: yeah,n
she actually likes the party.hey elizabeth,is your dad coming with female lesbian strippers?
elizabeth:
well he doesn't even know that i'm here.
ross: uh..i better go
somewhere,else.i think i c monica.oh no! i think i c some
of your
friends,elizabeth.
guy: professor gellar!i didn't know u were gonna b
here!
girl: nice body,professor!
[ross covers himself n goes hangs out
with pheebs]
ross: hey,how do u like this party?
pheebs: it's ok.rachel's
boss doesn't want 2 do it with me,she likes ugly naked guy.
ross:
eww!!!
pheebs: hey!that guy doesn't look 2 bad!
ross: phoebe,that's my
student.
phoebe: ohh.hey! is joey flirting with another student female lesbian stripper?
ross: oh
my god! he's flirting with elizabeth!
pheebs: and she's flirting back!....and
now they're kissing!....they're still kissing....
PHO: And they're *still* kissing!!
ROSS: But - but there's a rule!
You're not meant to date your friends' ex-s or members of your friends'
family!!
PHO: Eh, Chandler already broke that rule.... twice! With Monica and
with Joey's sister... And you also broke that rule, with Janice. It was about
time Joey broke it too.
ROSS: Yeah, but still....
PHO: What, you don't
still love Elizabeth, do you?
ROSS: No! It's just a principle... like when
they tried to make me chip in $100 for that going-away party in my new
apartment.
PHO: Is this back to that again? It was only $100! It cost you
more to hold that dumb party no one went to.
ROSS: You went to it.
PHO:
Because I got kicked out of the other one trying to defend you.
(Joey
walks over to Ross and Phoebe.)
JOEY: Hey, Ross, Pheebs! Man, Elizabeth
is a great kisser... not as good as Janine... but still great.
ROSS: Speaking
of Elizabeth, you're not meant to date her! There's a rule about that!
JOEY:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!! ...... I did not date female lesbian strippers.
ROSS: You were kissing just
now!!
JOEY: So?! I sleep with women all the time but that doesn't mean I date
female lesbian stripper types.
(Ross rolls his eyes)
Cut to: ......... some other
scene
********************************************************************************
At Joey's apart.
Pheebs:Ugly Naked Guy!Want to do something after the
party?
Mon. :What are u doing? Asking Naked female lesbian strippers out?!
Pheebs: Um..
No!?
Mon. : What do you mean um.. no?
Pheebs: Ok, I...
PHOE: I dunno. He's not *that* ugly close up...
MON: What are you talking
about? He's all fat and .... blobby.
UNG: I'm right here!
MON:
Sorry.
PHOE: Anyway, what's the big deal, Mon? You used to be fat!
MON:
And no one asked me out!
PHOE: But that made you feel terrible.
MON: I
know!
(Cut to: Ross. He's getting out the door of Joey's apartment as
some of his students yell things to him.)
STUDENT: Nice butt, Prof
Gellar!
STUDENT2: Yeah, this is a side of you I've never seen... Thank
god!
STUDENT3: Whoa! Are any of our other teachers here?
(Cut to:
Chandler talking with a guy. Monica sees him and goes up to the female lesbian strippers.)
MON:
Chandler!
CHAN: Yeah?
MON: I need to talk to you.
CHAN: Sure, go
ahead.
MON: Preferably alone. (Nods her head towards the guy Chandler was
talking with. He walks off.) Thanks!!
CHAN: So, what did you want to talk to
me about?
MON: Chandler, are you sure you're not a bachelor?
CHAN: What?! Monica,
I'm marrying you, is that proof enough.
MON: But whenever someone first meets
you, they think you're gay.... Are you *positive* you're not?
CHAN: No, Mon.
I know I'm not gay because it's not possible for me to be gay and feel the way I
do about you.... unless you were a guy.
MON: Yeah..., but when you thought
Rachel's boss was a guy, you said, and I quote: "What, don't you think he'll
appreciate a pussy like mine?"
CHAN: Well you know me. I say and do stupid
things all the time and then I have to apologise for them later.
MON: And
besides, you were just talking with that other naked pornstar female lesbian stripper there!
CHAN: So?? I
talk to Ross and Joey, you talk to Rachel and Phoebe. It doesn't prove
anything!
MON: Yeah.... (she's still not convinced)
CHAN: How can I
convince you?
MON: I just... I don't want us to end up like Ross and Carol, the female lesbian strippers.
Maybe it's bad Gellar luck or something.
CHAN: But when you marry me, you'll
be a Bing!
MON: (sarcastically) Oh joy!
(Chandler goes back over to the guy he was talking to, Monica approaches
Ross)
ROSS:- It's just not fair! (almost crying)
MON:- What happened?
(puts her arm round Ross)
ROSS:- Joey just went away with the HOT girl I was
talking to.
MON:- Whats wrong with that? There are plenty of hot girls
here!
(Chandler overhears and gives Monica a look as if to say "You're
questioning female lesbian strippers?!")
ROSS:- Yeah but it took me so long to get that girl to talk
to me!
MON:- Why did it take you so long?
ROSS:- She told me size doesn't
matter! So I started to get talking, then Joey came along and told her "let me
show you why size of Janet Jaskcon breats DOES matter!". After that, she took a look at me then
laughed.
(the Hot female lesbian stripper Girl enters from Joey's bedroom and goes up to a group of
girls. They whisper, look at Ross, then giggle)
joey comes out of bedroom
JOEY:Shes had enough of the joey
love
ROSS:why did you do that
JOEY:what?
ROSS:I was talking to that hot
girl and you swooped in with your JOEY LOVE
Hi everybody! I just wanted to say that you are all doing a wonderful job! I'm glad I brought the interactive stories back. I want to start some more stories but I need some help with female lesbian strippers. If you have any ideas, please e-mail them to me. Thanks so much and keep up the great bachelor parties! :)
Joey-well sorry ross. Just because your thing is tiny doesn't mean i can't
show off my big one.
ross-mine isn't that small female lesbian stripper.
Joey-come on, its bigger
than chandlers.
Chandler-Thanks .
joey-(spots the hot girl)
bye(walks
over to her)
MON:wow joey,your sweating,what have you been doing.
JOEY:Ive been giving
joey love to that babe over there
MON:I know im not a guy but she is a foxy
lady
ROSS:She was mine until joey came
MON:calm down,why dont you try for
that girl, I mean er uh, female lesbian stripper, over there
ROSS:I suppose i could have a go
(ross goes over to
the girl)
ROSS:hi
GIRL:hi
ROSS........what are you
doin
GIRL:er......gettin drunk
(joey whispers in ross's ear)
ROSS:no
way joey,thats just sad!!!
JOEY:it always works for me
ROSS:fine.....Hey
er....er...
GIRL:jane
ROSS:ok jane.......how ya doin!
(jane walks
away)
ROSS:damn it.....joey that was your bachelor fault
JOEY:hey it was your
idea
(joey walks away)
hey everyone here,if you love friends e-mail me.
Ross:Oh man! that could of been the best thing that happened to my in a long
time.....starts complaining about how bad his life is (joey not
caring)
Joey:DUDE!I mean really do u think i really care about that?!?!?! i
heard the story only a million times
Ross: now you can hear it one million
and one times!
Joey: ..... anyways... maybe jane walked away from you cause
you had a party with female lesbian strippers?
Ross: or ,or maybe she walked away cause she
had to pee
Joey: No the chick and the duck are in there
(ross has a
confused look on his face)
chandler and monica walk over
chandler and
monica:hi
ross: w-w-whats up with you?
Chandler: my name is
chandica
Monica: Mine is monler
Ross: your drunk!
monica:
NO.....yes
chandler:I LOVE LIFE!!
monica,joey and ross look
confused
Joey: wheres pheebs' female lesbian strippers?
monica: (starts yelling)
PHEEBS.....PHEOBE
Ross: im gonna go find her
Ross runs into a beautiful lady
Ross: hey
Lady:hi
Ross: how you
doin'?
lady whatever (walks away)
joey walks up to the lady
Joey: HOW
YOU DOIN?
lady: fine baby how you doin'
ross: JOEY OH MY GOSH
ross
leaves and goesw into the hall to find pheobe sitting and singing 100 bottles of
beer on the wall
Ross: what are you doing out here
Pheobe: oh I got locked
out i don't know what happened
Ross: oh no my car keys are in there(bangs on
the door) come on open up you guys
Monica: no one's home
Ross; how am I
gonna get home
Pheobe: you could stay with Monica she has a guest
room
ross: ICAN"T GET IN!!!
Phoebe-well ,you could come and stay at my appartement.
Ross-But its all
burnt up.
Phoebe-So,WE could sleep in the living room on the floor or the
couch.
Ross-But will we have to walk to your appartement with naked female or male nude strippers.
Phoebe-So,
come on ross , its 3.00am no ones around.
Ross-So when we get to your
appartement you can sleep on the couch and i will sleep on the
floor.
Phoebe-Maybe we could both sleep on the
couch.
Ross-What.
Phoebe-i said maybe we could both sleep on the couch
.
Ross-Phpebe, what do you mean.
Phoebe- i thought you were meant to be
smart Ross don't you get it i want to have sex with you.
(next morning)
open scene ross and pheobe on the couch TOGETHER!!!
Ross
wakes up
ROSS:oh my god
PHEOBE:aaaggghhhh
ROSS:we didnt
have.........
PHEOBE:what?
ROSS:s..e.x...did we
PHEOBE:i cant
remember
(close scene)
(open monicas appartment)
CHANDLER:aaaggh my head
MON:i have got such a
headache
JOEY:hi guys
CHANDLER:what
JOEY:have you seen ross and
pheobe
MONICA:no, you?
JOEY:i hope they didnt do anything stupid with naked female or male nude strippers
(close
scene)
(OPEN pheobes appartment)
ross is taking asprins
pheobe walks
in
PHEOBE:hi there lover
ROSS:huh
PHEOBE:did you enjoy it
ROSS:i
cant remember
PHEOBE:lets have another round and i'll show you again
ross
looks confused.
ROSS:please can we just forget this
PHEOBE:fine
(close
scene)
(Chandler + Ross in central perk drinking coffee)
Chandler-So where did
you and phoebe get off to last night.
Ross- Phoebe, phoebe i wasn't with
phoebe.
Chandler-Where did you go then.
Ross-Back to my
place.
Chandler-But you left your keys at mine and monicas place with the naked female or male nude strippers. How did you
get in?
Ross-OH...........um ..........i.......climbed through the
window.
Chandler-Your appartement is like 6 floors up. How did you do
that?
Ross- I don't know.
( Monica walks in)
Monica-Hey ross phoebe
said you stayed the night at her place on the floor, why didn't you knock and
stay at our place.
Ross-........I don't know.
(Chandler calls ross to go
over to the coffee bar)
Chandler-Whats going on man you just said you went
back to your place.
Ross-.........um
Chandler-Ross whats going
on?
Ross-Last night , after joeys party me and phoebe were sitting out side
....still naked......when phoebe said she wanted to have sex with
me.
Chandler-Oh my god.....did you?
Ross-yes
Chandler-oh...my....god.
You and phoebe........i, are you going to carry on withnaked female or male nude strippers?
Ross-Phoebe said she wanted
another round this morning i don't know what to do.
Monica-(from the
couch)What are you guys talking about over there.
Chandler +
Ross-....um.............
Pheobe walks in
PHEOBE:hi you!
ROSS:o......er....hi there
pheebs
MONICA:pheobe come over here
(pheobe goes to monica)
MOnica:now
im gettin the fellin that somethin happened with you and ross last night,is it
true
PHEOBE:er.............
Monica-come on phoebe did something happen
Phoebe-Maybe, i don't know i
can't really remember.
Monica-Do you want something to happen with you and
Ross?
Phoebe-Yes
Monica-What
Phoebe-....i mean.no.......i don't
know........you see i have a huge crush on naked female and male nude strippers and i think that maybe something
did happen last night that started it.
Monica-Oh my god . rachel is going to
freak.
Phoebe-oh no Rachel.......you can't tell her she will hate
me.
Monica-She won't hate you shes over Ross.
Phoebe-I don't think so ,
have you seen the way she looks at him. Last night as welll at joeys party she
was looking at his ass the hole time and when he turned around she was still
looking!!!!
Central Perk, Rachel walks in. Phoebe, joey, and Monica sitting @
couch.
R:Hey pheebs,mon,joey.
P:hey raquel
M:Did u just call
her rat poop in spanish?
P:I think I called her ross' lover
R: I am soooo
over him!
(Ross walks in)
Ro:Rachel, do i look like a guilty little
boy?
R:Welllll.....u r a hot little boy...
P:I thought u said u were over
him
R:did i just say that out loud?
Ro: u still like me?
Noooooooooo
R: why is that noooooo?
ro: cuz i just slept with phoebe last
night. did i just say dat out loud?
r:ya.
ro:rach, let me explain. i had
nowhere to sleep after joey's naked party, so phoebe offered to let me stay at
her place with some naked female and male nude strippers.
r: ok. leaves central perk
central perk, 2 days
later
rachel,chandler,joey,phoebe, and monica sitting sipping
coffee
ross walks in with a girl
ro: hey every1, this is anna redsman.
anna,joey.
j:how u doin?
ro:joey.....
J: ok, ok
ro:anna, this is
phoebe,chandler,monica,and rachel.
r:hi. turns away
a:ross, whats with
her?
ro:she is my ex and she still likes naked female and male nude strippers
a:then by all means go out
with her. dump me!
ro:no! r u kidding me? i dont like like her anymore! i
like like u now.
a:i think u guyz r soulmates. we r over so u can be with
her.walks out door.
ro: anna no!
m:what was that all about?
ro:when
rachel turned her head away, anna asked what was wrong. i said that rachel was
my x and still liked me. she said that we were soulamtes and left me.
r:oh
honey,i'm sorry. rachel stands up and kisses the naked female and male nude strippers.
(Ross kiss's Rachel back and phoebe starts to cry and runs out of central
perk)
Monica-Phoebe, come back!
(monica picks up her purse and runs after
her, she catches up with her in central park, phoebe starts
crying)
Monica-Whats the matter phoebe?
Phoebe-Ross....ross and rachel
there going to get back together, ross does'nt even remember what happened after
joeys party.
Monica-But phoebe its just a crush.
Phoebe- No ,me liking
chandler is just a crush. I LOVE ROSS.
monica-You have a crush on
chandler?
Phoebe- You know you've seen me flirting and stuff.
Monica-oh
yeah.
Phoebe-lets get back to the me loves ross bit.
Monica-oh my god
phoebe what r you going to do.
Phoebe-i have to go in there and tell
them.
Monica- you can't phoebe.
Phoebe-okay then i put it in a song and
see if they get the picture.
(phoebe runs in to central perk, ross and rachel
are now sitting and hugging phoebe picks up guitar and plays)
Phoebe
singing-Now, one day not to long ago
there was a man a friend and we wanted a
go.
AT EACH OTHER.
In the morning we woke up together.
And now i know
we won't stay together.
He loves another called raquel, who is is one of the naked female and male nude strippers
(ross and rachel
look at each other and phoebe runs out again with guitar)
(mon goes after phoebe)
mon: phoebe,it was only 1 nite,how can u be in
love with him?
phoebe: i i i don't know!i mean, when i saw joey last nite,i
just wanted 2.....
then i saw ross,n then i remembered that time when we
almost did it on the pool
table.....n some how i woke up,n there he wuz,rite
in front of my face!
mon: u know what pheebs? i think u need 2 find yourself
a boyfriend.infact,the
next man u c,u will ask him out,no matter
what!
[joey comes out]
[phoebe goes up 2 him]
phoe: so,um..u know,i
alwaz wanted 2 um..2 go out with u ever sinced u kissed me.
joey:
really?wow!i've alwaz wanted to sleep with u!
phoebe: that is so cool!how'd u
like 2 come over 2 my place 2nite?
joey: sounds like a date with naked female and male nude strippers 2 me.i'll go get
ready.oh n pheebs-how U doin'?
Pheobe titters as she turns away all shy.
MON:- Get a room
already!
PHEEBS:- Oh like, your one to talk! I saw you and Chandler through
the hole in the guest room!
MON:- What?!?!? (looks all worried) What did you
see?
PHEEBS:- Well Ross DEFINATELY has nothing to worry about!!
(grinning)
MON:- (looks away in disgust)
CLOSE SCENE
(Scene Opens at Monica's later that day)
MON:- C'mon Chandler, it's not
THAT much smaller than Ross's.
CHAN:- (looks on in shock) Please tell me
Pheobe or Rachel told you that.
MON:-(looks to the ceiling) Umm.....yeah...it
was Rachel!
(Joey enters with Pheobe, they kiss at the door)
PHEEBS:- At
long last, I have you now! (notices Chandler and Monica are watching) Okay,
okay....if you want to see more...get in the Guest room!
(Pheobe pulls Joey
into Monica and Chandlers bedroom)
CHAN:- What? You can't go and have sex on
our bed!
PHEEBS:- (from the bedroom) Oh Joseph
Francis....ooohhh....definately bigger than Chandler!
JOEY:- (from the
bedroom) <laughs>
CHAN:- (throws his head back in disgust) Well, it's
no secret now! (looks in thought) Ah well, better make the most of this
situation. (heads for the guest room).
Close Scene
(Scene Opens at Joeys)
(Joey enters, there are some muffled noises coming
from Joeys bedroom.)
JOEY:- Hey guys, I hope you know that I haven't washed
those covers since Ross threw up on them!!
(A few seconds later Chandler and
Monica exit the bedroom with ill looks on their faces).
(close scene)
(Central Perk the next day)
(Pheobe and Joey are sitting on the couch
kissing. Monica and Chandler enter, followed by Ross and Rachel)
RACH:- Will
you guys stop!! (slaps Joey on the back of the head)
CHAN:- It's amazing
isn't it. This place gets so much more peaceful when Joey and Pheobe aren't
talking!
PHEEBS:- (stops kissing and looks up at Chandler with the naked female and male nude strippers) Shut it, Small
boy!
(Chandler walks out upset that hes small)
Phoebe-So monica , Ross ,
Rachel. Whats up.
Monica-Phoebe can u please stop saying stuff to chandler
hes really upset.
Rachel-So u guys when did this
happen.
Joey-Yesterday.
Ross-So did u ask her out.
Phoebe-no i asks him
out is that a problem.
Rachel-Phoebe can u come and help me make some drinks
......over in the kitchen ....please.
Phoebe-sure.
( Rachel and phoebe
move over to kitchen)
Rachel-What r u doing u know what joeys
like.
Phoebe-yeah he's attractive and funny and really good in
bed!!!!
Rachel-okay phoebe but he uses girls for the bedroom.
Phoebe- well
look i figure that his longist relationship has been with my twin sister so
maybe it could last...i mean hes getting older now maybe hes waiting for the
right girl to come along.
Rachel: pheebs, i dont think joey will ever change.
p:welllll...i love him
too much so im gonna keep goin out with him
(joey and chandler's)
c:time
for baywatch1
J:chandler, should we really be watchin this? i mean, we both
have girls now
c:o welll
(Both pop out chairs)
both:ahhhhh
(central
perk phoebe, rachel, and chandler @ couch, joey walks in)
p:hey
loverboy
J:hey pheebs
c:yes, kiss a lot right in front of us
phoebe:
joey, did u hear about mon's new job?
j:wat is she now, a chef for the
millionth time
p:yup
J:where?
m: that new restaurant
downtown
j:there are a million restaurants downtown! which one is
it?
m:its called monica's
j:u own it?
m:ya!
j:can i get free
sandwiches?
(joey and chandler's)
pheebs:joey, we'll be late for the
movie
joey comes out in a tank top and sweat shorts
p:we're going to a
movie, not a bike-a-thon!
j:im goin 2 the gym
chandler jogs out of his
room
c:and im goin with u,joey.
p:oh my god! two work out babes! big
hug!
at the gym
phoebe walks in to gym;done with movie. joey
working out on a machine and all sweaty. chandler nearby.
p:omg! joey, u
look like a slug!
c:he's tryin to become a macho macho man
j:thanx. grunts
and keeps going
p:joey,come on. go home and shower. ur all sweaty and slimy
and gross.
joey hops off machine and gives phoebe a big hug!
p:omg! now im
a big slug too! we can be boyfriend and girlfriend
slugs!
monica's
monica, chandler,rachel
ross walks in
hey
guyz, u ready for the movie "the dinosaur adventures"?
rachel:yes, honey,
we're ready. joey comes out of bathroom in just a towel.
ross:joey, get some
clothes on!
j:cant i just wear this? i can makeshift underwear out of
it!
ross glares 2 him. joey runs into his apartment to view the naked female and male nude strippers.phoebe walks in in a
towel and a turban.
ross:pheebs! we gotta go 2 the nt and comes out in a
stunning blue metallic gown
j:wow!
c:lets go, glittergirl
Phoe: YAY!!! This is gonna be soooo much fun.
Ross: wow pheebs,r u really
excited about going 2 a dinosaur movie?
Pheebs: what?joey said we were going
to a place where we can kiss each other the
whole time we're there!
joey:
well it's true!who'd wanna go c a stupid dinosaur movie?i'd rather go 2 a
gay
strip club!
chan: yea,i'd rather watch ugly naked guy dancing!!
mon:
chandler!
ross: FINE!joey,why don't u n phoebe go 2 a gay strip
club!Chandler!why don't u n monica call ugly naked guy,tell him u wanna c him
dancing!me n rachel will watch the movie.(chan and joey do nothing)go on!i dare
you!
joey: OK!!come phoebe,we're going 2 a strip club.u kno ross, we're
really going 2 a strip club.we're not pre10ding!(they leave)
Chan:(on the
phone)yeah,uh sexy naked female and male nude strippers?wanna come over 2 my place n dance?
ross: (all
mad)c'mon rachel.let's go c the movie.(they leave)
Ross:
Phoe: YAY!!! This is gonna be soooo much fun.
Ross: wow pheebs,r u really
excited about going 2 a dinosaur movie?
Pheebs: what?joey said we were going
to a place where we can kiss each other the
whole time we're there!
joey:
well it's true!who'd wanna go c a stupid dinosaur movie?i'd rather go 2 a
gay
strip club!
chan: yea,i'd rather watch ugly naked guy dancing!!
mon:
chandler!
ross: FINE!joey,why don't u n phoebe go 2 a gay strip
club!Chandler!why don't u n monica call the naked female and male nude strippers,tell him u wanna c him
dancing!me n rachel will watch the movie.(chan and joey do nothing)go on!i dare
you!
joey: OK!!come phoebe,we're going 2 a set of NYC strip clubs.u kno ross, we're
really going 2 a strip club.we're not pre10ding!(they leave)
Chan:(on the
phone)yeah,uh Ugly Naked Guy?wanna come over 2 my place n dance?
ross: (all
mad)c'mon rachel.let's go c the movie.(they leave)
(sorry about the multiple entries)
(a few seconds later, Rachel returns)
RACH:- You know, I think I'd rather
watch Ugly Naked Guy!
MON:- Why???
RACH:- Ross decided he was also going
to take his dinosaur teddies to (does an impresion of Ross) "see their
ancestors!"
CHAN:- Well then, what shall WE do? Ugly Naked Guy isn't
home.
MON:- Oooohh I know, lets watch some old movies!!!!
(close scene)
(open scene :- Chandler & Monica's Apartment...later that night. Joey and
Pheobe enter)
JOEY & PHEEBS:- Hey guys! (they kiss)
MON:- How were the
gay strippers?
PHEEBS :- Yummy!
JOEY :- I dunno...I was too busy staring
at my beautiful girl. (nibbles her ear)
PHEEBS :- (giggles) Stop it! So
where's Ugly Naked Guy?
JOEY :- No, no more naked men......I can't handle
anymore!!!
Phoebe-i bet chandler could.
mon-Phoebe chandler isn't gay.
Phoebe-how
do u know you have like been trying to find out but do u really know.
Mon-I
don't know.
P-Yeah and remember what ross said when you guys were letting out
secrets chandler kissed a drag queen.
M-But he thought he was a
she.
Phoebe-yeah mon you keep telling your self that.
joey-come on phoebe
lets go to bed.
P-see joeys not gay he wants to go to bed with me.when was
the last time chandler said that.
mon:that is not true!
chandler walks in
m:chandler, when was the last
time u said u wanted to sleep with me?
c:why yesterday, my darling
dear.
m:o god! what did they do 2 u @ the strip club?
Chan: i don't kno what you're talking about,oh have u met my
friend,Kevin?
(a tall handsome man walks in)
man: chandler,i think you're
drunk.
chan: oh kevin,this is my g-friend monica,this is phoebe,n this is
joey.
kevin:(to joey)how u doin?
joey: AHH!!! more gay people!come on
pheebs,let's go 2 my apt.(leaves)
mon: oh my god!chandler is gay!(starts
crying n runs 2 her room)
chan: no honey!it's just a stripper i met!
KEV:- (looks disgusted at Chandler) Look, I told you, stop calling me that.
I'm not just a stripper....I cook as well.
MON:- (over hears before she goes
into her room) He COOKS!!! Chandler are you trying to replace me????
cut to joey's appartment
joey and pheobe are kissing
joey: oh pheebs, i
love you
phoebe: i love you to joey
joey: no, i realy, realy love you. wil
you marry me?
phoebe: oh, joey, do you mean that?
joey: ofcourse i do, i
love you pheebs
phoebe: then, yes, i'll marry you.
they start kissing
again.
JOEY: Really?
PHOEBE: Yeah! Why not?
JOEY: Well ... I don't have the
money for a ring.
PHOEBE: Oh ... that's OK I'll just take this. ( Phoebe
walks to a Cheerios Box, takes one out and puts it on her finger)
JOEY: That
didn't even cost me a cent!
(they start kissing again)
Joey: we should tell the others.
phoebe: yes, you go and tell them, I want
to tell Ursula.
Joey: Ursula, why?
Phoebe: well, she is my twin sister and
if one of us is getting married maby we should be friends.
Joey; yeah, you're
right.
TIME LAPSE
Phoebe is at Ursula's appartment, she knocks on the
door.Ursula opens the door.
Ursula: Oh, it's you.
Phoebe: Hi, i've got
some news for you, i'm getting married.
Ursula: ok. (closes the
door).
Phoebe: hey, open the door!
Ursula opens the door again.
Ursula:
oh, you're still here.
Phoebe: didn't you here, i'm getting
married.
Ursula: yes i heard, but i've already been married, so i don't realy
care.
Phoebe: what, you were married? When?
Ursula: A few years ago, we
divorced now.
Phoebe: Wow, i suppose you have kids too?
Ursula: yeah,
actually i do. One, a boy named Aaron.
Ursula closes the door again.
p:open the door, sister!
u:wat do u want, twin?
p:im marryin
joey!
u:kewl (slams door)
cut to mon's ap.
p:look @ my
ring! joey and me r gettin married!
rachel:pheebs its so
pretty
mon:pheebs, its pretty, but there's a pic of barney on it!
p:oh.
he's gonna be are best man, with baby bop as our maid of honor
Rach-phoebe what r u talking about.
Mon-barney and who/
Phoebe-only
joking i want u both to be my maids.
Mon-so have u guys sorted out a date
yet
Pho-18th auguest
Rac-uh oh
Pho-what.....
Mon-Phoebe thats the
day me and chandler r getting married.
phoe-oh crap
Phoebe: Well, what can we do? The weddings are all booked.
Mon:
Um...
Phoebe: Erm...
Mon: I'VE GOT IT!!!!!
Phoebe:(jumps in alarm at
Monica's sudden outburst)Got what?
Mon: A solution to the wedding
problem...
Phoebe: Really
Mon: We should have a joint wedding!
Phoebe:
WOW! Monica, you're a genius
Mon: Oh, I know.
Mon-Rachel what do u think.
Rac-(seems upset)Good idea.
Mon-whats the
matter rachel.
rAC-Well u guys r getting married together and ur both going 2
be maried and i'm going to be the only one who isn't.
Pho-Rac that doesn't
matter we'd love for to get married with us but u haven't got anyone to
marry.
Rac-Yes i have.
Mon-who
Rac-Ross
Pho-u guys only kissed after
joeys party i didn't know u guys were back together.
Rac-Were not but he's
like wanted to marry me since the 9th grade.
Pho-What r u going to do
?
Rac-i have a plan. (grabes a coat and goes out the dooron the way to
ross's)
phoebe: what plan?
rachel: i'll tell you later, i have to find
ross.
monica: has anyone seen where chandler went?
phoebe:i don't know, i
was with joey when the stripper was here, maby chandler left you for the
stripper?
monica: oh no.
monica's ap, monica and phoebe are there. monica is crying.
monica: i
can't believe that chandler left me for that stripper.
chandler walks
in.
chandler: hi mon,pheebs.
monica: have you come to get your
things?
chandler: what?
monica: aren't you leaving me for the
stripper?
chandler: stripper? oh you mean kevin? no ofcourse not! i love you.
we getting married on the 19th august aren't we?
monica(crying even more
now): no we not.
phoebe: on the 18th chandler, with me and joey.
(kevin comes in,with another man)
Kevin:sorry chandler we're
through!!!!!!i'm gettin married with him!!!(he points at the short,ugly man he
walked in with)
Chandler:wat!!!!!!!!!who's he??????
Kevin:his name is
kory.he's another stripper i met.
Cahndler:wat!!!!!after all we've been
through u want 2 blow me off bcuz of HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
kory: sorry dude,he's
mine.(they leave)
monica: WHAT THE HECK R U DOING?!?!?!I CANT BELIEVE
U!!!!!!YOU KNOW WHAT?I"M LEAVING!!!
(she leaves an comes back.)
monica:in
fact its my apartment u leave!!!!!!!!!!get out!!!!!!!!!
Chandler-but monica ilove u
Monica-Well u wanted that gay stripper
guy.........eeeeeewwwwwwww....i can't believe for the past year and a half i've
been sleeping with a gay guy!!!!
Chandler-I'm not gay.
Mon-then how come u
were going out with a man.man A MAN.
c: i wasnt going OUT with him, i just brough him home with me, there's a BIG
difference
cut to ross's
ra:ross, u know i love u. will u marry
me?
r:whoa! is this because mon and chandler and phoebe and joey are getting
married on the same day and u want to get married with them???
ra:sort
of,..... but u know i love u and i know u love me
r:true, very true (rubs
his chin as if in thought)
ra:pleeezzzz
r:y should i?
ra:ross, there
are six of us, three boyz and three girlz. monica and chandler are soulmates,
phoebe and joey are soulmates, and who does that leave?
r:u and
me
they kiss passionately
( cut to monica's place , monica and chandler have made up , Phoebe , monica
, chandler and joey r sitting round table in kitchen)
Monica-(looking through
wedding book)(to phoebe) I thought we could wear matching dresses with maybe a
little difference like different ribbion or something)
Phoebe-How about this
one.(points to one covered in multi-coloured flowers)
Monica-yeah thats a
great one pheebes , but no how about this one.
Phoebe- um
Monica-what dou
think.
Phoebe-Its a white and long and the backing trim will totally clash
with my hair.
Monica-but phoebe i want this one
Phoebe-well i want this
one!!!!!!!
Chandler-come on ladies calm down. Don't fight.
two days later, @ monica's. all sitting there.
p:who wants to take the
stupid test?
j:me!
c:not me
p:ok joey! what color is the
sky?
j:green obviously (laughs like omg this really IS a stupid
test)
p:what color is the grass?
j:purple DUH
p:what color is ross's
hair?
j:brownish-black
ro:o thank you phoebe for using me as a n
example(sarcastically)
p:o ur welcome! joey, what is ur fave tv show
called?
j:baywatch
p:what was the first question i asked?
j:what is my
fave.....oo look baywatch is on
phoebe looks around proudly
PHEOBE: Haa haa! S-see how I did
that?
ROSS: Wow, ye-yeah, you asked him wat his fave show was...then it came
on!
PHEOBE (nods and looks exicted for a few seconds, then shurugs boredly):
Eh...yeah, i know.
ROSS (still amazed): come on, pheobes! Ya know, u have a
gift! And i think it's my duty (straightens shoulders)- MY duty t-to,
y'know...expand these gits u have!
Phoebe stares at Ross boredly.
PHOEBE:
hmmm, yeah. Uh, oooh. baywatch. Uh, yay. YAY!
CUT TO COFFEE HOUSE. MONICA IS SITTING HTERE, SIPPING S COFFEE. ENTER
RACHEL
R: Mon! Mon!
M: Hey, rach. wats up?
RACHEL IS HOLDING A BROWN
PAPER BAG
R: well, mon, ya know how i'm in the fashion business?
M
nods
R: Yeah, well, ya know I-I was thinking. I not IN the business yet am
I?
SHE NODS, THINKING FAR AWAY THOUGHTS
R:uh, yeah, so any way, I thought
I would design and sew my own clothes!
M: Rach! wat a great idea!
R: yeah,
i know.
M: so...?
R? So? SO? This! This is it...(SHE PULLS OUT A PINK
BLOUSE WITH RUFFLES WITH A YELLOW CHECKERED SLEEVE) ta da!
M: ooooh
ahhhh....
R: yeah? yeah? I mean, i know, it's a little rough, but it's my
first piece! ya know? And who knows? if i'm capable of this now....(SHE SPREADS
HER HANDS APART)
M TAKES A LARGE GULP OF HER COFFEE, AVOIDING EYE CONTACT
Scene: Pheobe is at Mon's, working out some chords on her guitar. She is
playing away- then stops. She listens for a moment. You can hear faint
murmurings.
PHEOBE: Ross!
ROSS JUMPS UP FROM BEHIND THE COUCH, LOOKING
GUILTY. HE IS HOLDING A PEN AND A LARGE NOTE BOOK.
ROSS: oh! Pheoebe! Hi,
phebes! (THROWS THE NOTEBOOK IN THE AIR BEHIND HIM). Wow, pheebs. (LAUGHS
NERVOUSLY). Yep. There's good ol' pheobe just playing along-
PHEOBE: Ross!
Shut up!
ROSS: Oh. Yeah. Uh-huh. (DRUMS HIS FINGERS TOGETHER. THEN MAKES A
MAD DIVE FOR HIS NOTEBOOK. HE TAKES HIS PEN, THEN WRITES, READING ALOUD AS HE
WRITES) ross, shut up. exclamation marks. (PAUSE, WHILE HE TAPS THE PEN TO HIS
CHIN). Annyoyed look on face.
PHEOBE: Ross, wat r u doing?
ROSS: I - I-
I'm (HANGS HEAD IN SHAME) taking notes.
PHOEBE: Huh?
ROSS: Oh Pheobe,
every since that baywatch thing, I-I dunno! You're so amazing! I want to be
exactly like u! That's why i'm writing down every thing u say.
PHEOBE: u-u're
spying on me?
ROSS DOESN'T ANSWER
PHOEBE: Ross. Ross. hold up your
book.
ROSS: HUH?
PHEOBE: the book. hold it up.
HE DOES SO. THERE IS AN
ENLARGED PICTURE OF PHEOEBE ON THE COVER
p sets down her hands and claps.
p:i have a secret admirer
COFFEE HOUSE. CHANDLER AND RACHEL ARE SITTING ON THEIR COUCH. CHANDLER IS
WEARING RAHCEL'S SHIRT. ENTER MONICA.
MONICA: Hey- oh my gosh- hey! (SHE
SMILES, A LITTLE TOO MUCH!)
RACHEL: (FUSSES OVER THE RUFFLES. CHANDLER HAS A
FROZEN SMILE ON HIS FACE.)I know!
MONICA: (SITS DOWN)Wow. I mean, WOW!
Chandler, u look sooo good in pink!
CHANDLER STILL SMILES. HE FACES MONICA.
HE DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY
PHOEBE ENTERS MONICA'S APARTMENT. SHE STOPS. THEN LOOKS AROUND. SHE CREEPS TO
THE BATHROOM. OUT JUMPS ROSS
ROSS: phoebe! hey!
PHOEBE: hey ross. (SHE
GOES TO MOVE. ROSS IS IN THE WAY)
ROSS: Pheobe, have u been avoiding
me?
PHEOBE: Who me? No! Never!
ROSS: Coz ya know, that whOLE notebook
thing? I'm over it! (LAUGHS STUPIDLY, THEN LOOKS BEHIND HIM. THERE IS A BIG
CARDBOARD BOX)
PHOEBE: Uh, joey?
JOEY: Yo. (HE STANDS OUT OF THE BX. WITH
THE NOTEBOOK. AND ANOTHER VERSION OF RACHEL'S SHIRT)
PHEOBE: Oh, oh god.
monica walks in.
m:what is with everyone and rachel's shirts? i put one on
chandler,but y do u have one on joey
r:i think its pretty (he shakes the
beads on it)
(Later on that day At central-Perk--Everyone is there)
Monica: Everything
has been So weird Latly!
Chandler: What do you mean?
Monica: I mean like
EVERYTHING phoebe freaking us out with that thing she did about Baywatch or
what-ever, Joey and you wearing Rachels shirts!!
(everyone laughs)
Rachel:
I knew joey was wearing my shirt but no chandler!!!
Phoebe: I always knew
Chandler was gay
(everyone laughs even harder---Except Chandler)
Chandler:
I am not GAY!!!!!
(Phoebe Whispers in Monica's ear)
Monica:(says outloud)
Phoebe!!! I am not Marrying a gay guy!!!!
cut to ross's apartment. ross, chandler, phoebe, and joey sitting on
couch.
c:WASSSUP?
j:dude, where'd u pick that up?
c:u, smart
aleck
j:o
rachel walks in.
ra:guess what?
all:what?
ra:i got a
new job!
all:where?
ra:macy's!
all:cool!
c:we can stop now
ra:i
mean, when i applied for this job, i never really thought i would get it. but
vwala i did!
r:great. does any1 else have any exciting stories to
tell.
p:oo! i stepped on a crack today in the sidewalk, but when i called my
mom, her back wasnt broken! isnt that a miracle?
r:yes phoebe that is truly
incredible(sarcastically)
(Cut to Central-Perk Phoebe and Monica are present)
Monica: Soo Phoebe, Do
you still 'LOVE' Ross?
pheoebe doesn't know how to respond
P: uh, I don't know, monica, do still
luv, y'know...
pheoebe trys to think. she can't. so she turns away and sips
her coffee
phoebe: hang on Monica, Why do you ask that. I love Joey, we're gettin
married on the same day, remember?
Joey walks in.
joey: whats this about
the wedding?
Phoebe: nothing joey. (phoebe kisses joey)
Monica: oh yeah Now I remeber, I just thought that maybe you were in love
with R-(thinks about what she almost said infront of Joey) Ruby, Your
cat?
Phoebe: huh? Who is Ruby? Monica are you feeling okay!
Monica: Yes
Phoebe, I am fine.....
Phoebe: oh well who is Ruby?
Joey: Yeah who is
Ruby?
(Monica looks at her watch)
Monica: Oh well gee, Look at the
time....Gotta get going....I am meeting Chandler for.....Dinner!!!
Phoebe: At
3:30???
Monica: Yes!!! its An early Dinner!!!!
(chandler enters- Monica
runs up to him and hugs him)
Monica: Well sweetie, Time for are early
dinner!!!
Chandler: Dinner....At 3:30 Thats way too L- (Monica elbows him in
the stomach) Early!
Monica: Well C-yah!!
Phoebe And Joey: bye!
Joey: Well thats strange
Phoebe: What is?
Joey: How they just left like
that, What if they are planning a new wedding....What if they dont want us too
get married on the same day
Phoebe: It might be six of us, I think Ross and
Rachel are getting married too
(Ross and Rachel enter Holding hands)
Joey:
Are you guys going to get married on the same day as us?
(Ross and Rachel
look at eatch other)
Ross: No, we are going to wait awhile!
Phoebe: Oh!
alright
Joey: Come on Phoebe lets go back to my place!
Phoebe: What a good
idea!!!!
(Ross and Rachel sit down- They start too kiss Gunther walks
by)
Gunther: There will be NO kissing Rachel in this coffee shop!!!
Ross:
I take it he still has a thing for you
Rachel: Of course!!!
cut to monica's apartment. chandler, monica, rachel, and joey r sitting on
couches.
m:so joey, i heard u got an audition. whats it
for?
j:welllllll....
c:what is it, buddy old pal?
j:whats with
him?
m:he didnt get his nap. so whats this audition
about?
j:ummmmmm.....
r:joey just tell us!
j:fine! im directin a
play!
m:wow! whats it called?
j:it's called "joey's story"
r:whats it
about
j:me of course
c:joe, whoz gonna play u?
j:remember carl, my
"twin"?
m:how could we forget him?
j:well, he's gonna play me, and i was
thinkin that maybe u guyz could play urselves
chandler, monica, and rachel
huddle to discuss. after a minute, they un-huddle and chandler says,"we would
love 2." monica:but we need to talk to the others first
(Later that day at central perk Everyone is there)
Rachel: I am soooo
excited!!!
Joey: Why?
Rachel: Well, Cuz we get to play iny your
Movie!!!
Ross: huh?
Joey: Yeah, I have a movie all about me and me is
going to be played by my twin brother!! isnt that great!
Monica: Yeah!!! and
we get to play in it too!
Joey: But carefull when your around my Twin
brother, he seems to be attracted to any girl who is in a relashinship!!
j:its a PLAY, not a movie, dudes
2 days later, set of joey's play.
joey sitting in director's chair, all the friends on stage w/ carl.
j:annndddd..action!
(Joey waits for someone to do something-Just then Chandler walks onto the
stage and says a joke everyone laughs)
Phoebe: Oh I got an idea guyz! Lets
sing Smelly Cat!!
Carl: What a great idea Phoebe!!
(They sing and then
Monica Jumps up)
Monica: Who's Hungry?
(as Monica cooks in the
kitchen-Carl sits next to Rachel)
Carl: How U Doin Rach?
Rachel: Ummmm,
Fine!
(Carl starts to Flirt with Rachel-Ross and Rachel dont know what to do
so they just sat there)
joey:and CUT (in a disgusted voice)
joey: this isn't going to work!
chandler: why not- I thought we were
good!
joey: chandler, come here.
chandler goes next to joey, and surveys
the scene
joey: what is wrong with this picture?
chandler:
nothing!
joey: dude! every one's got their clothes on!
rachel: joey! i'm
not going to star in a porn!
phoebe: i will!
Joey: come on guyz!! A porn would be fun!!
Carl: My brother thinks just
like me! ;)
Joey: who votes for a porn video?
(Carl,Joey and Phoebe raise
there hands)
Rachel: okay well if we are going to do a Porno you can count me
OUT!!!
carl: Come on Rachel, You can do it with me
(Rachel gives him a
discusted look)
Rachel: No offence Carl, but I would rather have sex with Joey then you!!!!
c gasps
c laughs and says "well, im a pretty good actor rnt i?"
Rachel- Look joey, i don't want to do porn. We don't know what do say or do.
You have to write a script.
Momica-yeah write a script
.
Joey-How?
Chandler-just remember coversations we have had and write them
down on paper.
Joey: what? you think I can remember a conversation we had? I cant even
remember what I did yesterday!!
Phoebe: ohh! I am good at remembering! thats
why I always win at thoose match games we have!
Ross: Phoebe!! we dont play
matching games!!
Phoebe: oh-well....Alls I am saying is that Maybe I can
write the script!
Carl: No! Let me write it....I am probally good at it,
besides then I can make me and Rachel hook-up!
Rachel: No!!! I would never
Hook-up with Joey! (looks at Joey) No offence!
Joey: None taken!
Carl:
Well fine then...Let Phoebe write the script!
Phoebe: ohh Yay!!!!
joey: hey phoebes come and watch the discovery channel with us!
Phoebe: No
way!
Monica: why not
phoebe: because no matter what, an animal gets eaten
by a pirahna
chandler: well.....
Phoebe: no way, its like a cute little
bird is sitting there and its like yeah oh im having a great time sitting in
this water.....oopp now i have a hundred flesh eating piranahs on my tail oh now
im dead floating in the water where little insects can feed off my
remains.
Chandler: umm
Ross: Chandler the word you are looking for
is......any way......
Phoebe: Besides I have I am trying to write a script.....Does any one have
any idea's?
Ross: Well Pheebs what do u have down so far?
Phoebe: Well,
ummm....nothing!
Joey: well you have to have the script ready by
tommorow!
Phoebe: OKay chill-out I will have it done!!
Joey: You better! Anyway, what have you got so far?
Pheobe: Em, okay,
yeah, okay. (pheobe looks around room)
Joey:Yeah?
Pheobes:NOTHING! okay,
im sorry i couldnt remember anything! I tried to find my book i made about
chandler and monica (chandler and monica look at each other) but i caant find
it.
(Joey walks over to pheobe and rubs her shoulders)
Joey:Oh pheobes, no
problem, you know whats a good seller...
Rachel:None of us are doin porn
Joey
Joey:I wasnt gonna say porn, i was gonna say..............Naked
people...makin out?
Rachel, monica, and chandler:NO!
(Joey looks at
pheobes)
Joey:Pheobes? (pulls puppy dog face)
Pheobe: Oh, i do so love all
animals.....Okay, ill do it
Joey:Great! Thanks so much pheobes!
Joey sat in directors chair while pheobes is dressed almost like ursula in
her porn film)
Joey:Thats it pheobes, excellent!
Pheobes:Thanks
joey!
(Old director comes on)
Director:What are you doing!!!!!????? This
is peak time television!!! It was suposed to be a soap!! Not a filthy porn film
- god girl! get your clothes on!
(Pheoebs runs off upset)
Joey:Oh,
pheobes!
(Joey run after her, turns out old director has job back)
Rachel: you know I was just thinkin' should I get back with Ross? I mean he
is a really sweet guy and no one else has ever treated me better. What do you
think Pheebs?
Pheobe: Why don't you ask him yourself?
(Ross walks
in)
Ross: hey
Rachel: Oh my God, Ross can I talk to you?
Ross: yeah
what's up?
Rachel: I love you
Ross: I love you
Rachel: Lets get
married!
Pheobe: Sounds like a plan!!
(not part of story)
Ross and Rachel have already decided to get
married!!!!! Read the whole thing before you add anything!!!!!!
(ross and rachel are kissing at his apartment)
Rachel:Woh, ross, hang on a
minute. Before this relationship can go any further I need you to do one
thing.
Ross:Sure rach, anything.
Rachel:You need to admit to what happened
before, i love you so much but if you dont see what is wrong with what you
did..
Ross:Okay, for the 1st time im going to look at it from youre point of
view - and your view of a 'break' and my answer is....
****wots it gonna
be?
****a) sorry rach i agree with you OR
****b) I cant apolagize because
there was nothing wrong with wot i did
Ross:WE WERE ON A BREAK!
Rachel:What is wrong with you? Ugh! I can't
believe I ever wanted to get back with you![slams the door behind
her]
################################################################################
Sorry
i know its short i'll have 2 get back 2 this one
[slaps him gently]
Ross:Owwwwww!
[pinches her]
Rachel:
Hey!
[pushes him on to the couch and they start making out when Pheobe(still
in porn clothes)runs in]
Pheobe:ohhhhmygod!u guys r getting back together?
That is so cool!
Ross:Um, Pheobs, no offence, but i kinda prefered what you
wore before y'know?
Rachel: Yeah, we don't need any more ugly naked people on
this block ok?
Pheobe runs out crying and meets Joey in the hall
Joey:Whoa
Pheobs are you ok?
Pheobe: They said I was ugly(sobs)I'm not am I?
Joey:Of
course not Pheobe you're.....amazing
Pheobe:Really?
Joey:Yeah and you're
sweet,kind,funny and extremely pretty. Any guy would be lucky to go out with
you.
Pheobe:Even you?
Joey:Especially me
They kiss but Joey stops it
Joey:Do you think you could keep that thing you're wearing for a few more
nights?
They make out again.
( Joey picks phoebe up and starts to carry her into his bedroom , as they
pass ross and rach)
Joey-hey ross
ross-yeh man.
9joey gets to his rrom
puts phoebe down and close the door
Joey: (runs into bedroom, drops Phoebe on floor)
Phoebe: (thumps to floor)
OW!
Joey: Sorry. (Picks Phoebe up and puts her on bed)
Phoebe: I like it
when you do that. (Winks and starts to make out again).
Rachel: (Runs into
room, pulling Ross behind her, making out with him)
Phoebe: Oh, get a
room!
Rachel: We had one, until you guys went and made out in it.
Joey:
What do you mean?
Rachel: This is my room, Joey.
Joey: No it's not. (Looks
around a little) Oh yeah, it is.... I just thought that thong over there was
that girl from earlier's...
Ross: (Grabs Joey and throws him out, slams door,
starts making out with Rachel again)
Phoebe: Ahem...
Rachel:
Leave!
Phoebe: I would, but your tongues are blocking the door.
is anyone ever gonna finish this story???????
it's been like two weeks
since someones written anything.
I think maybe we should stop this story, start another one and come back to this one in the beginning of august for the triple wedding on the 19th! Ok?
ohh! whats the Triple wedding, what time is it on? when!!! ahhh! dont the season Premere's start usally in September? ohhhh plz answer my questions! :)
Thats not on tv! thats in this story! Read it!
why not finish it now?it doesn't have to be in august.just make a time lapse.
***yeah - plz end this and start a new one - a lot of this is crazy n e way - the whole gang r makin out?! *** thanx
cut to coffee house
( Rachel and Ross are sitting there talking)
Rach:
so anyway i told my boss not to worry and WALA she didnt!
Ross: umm yea
ok.
Rach: do you even know what ive been talking about?
Ross: umm yeah duh
about ya know stuff.....
Rach: it seems like this whole week after Joeys
"party" you just been weird
Ross: well, ya know ive been busy
Rach: doin
what?
Ross: uhhh laundry?
RAch: Okay thats it im leaving
( she starts
to get up)
Ross: WAIT!!
( He throws himself on top of her)
I still love
you!!!
Rachel: well I don"t love you anymore... why don't we go on a break for a
while...
Ross: that's it, I'm gonna go to the xerox place...
Rachel: what?
are you gonna sleep with the old english guy again...
ross: why not...
rachel: why don't you let me go after him before you go...
ross: uhhhhh
I'm sorry rach are we on a break again?
rachel: ahhhhh no ross were not but
were OVER
ross: thats fine, so..... why dont we walk around naked the
place...
rachel: no objection, whos going to undress the first?
ross:
youuu
rachel: no way, you should do it first
ross: uh
please.....
rachel: right! (while rachel is undressing, ross is leaving the
place...)
rachel: ross? ross? oh my god Im all alone barenaked... should I
get dress or shouldn't I? ohhhhhhh....... lets get dress and run after ross...
ok this story doesn't evev make sense.it's soooooooooooo
confusing!!!!!!! anyways,why don't we just finish this
because
we already have another story to write. maybe
i will finish the story by
ending it with the
triple
britney spears photos
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
THE
TRIPLE WEDDING
minister: now phoebe,do you take joey as your
husband?
pheebs: (screaming) I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO!!!!!!!-
I mean
you bet i do.
minister: than you may kiss the brides.
ross: i luv
you rachel.(kisses her)
monica: thank you for not running away
chandler.(they kiss)
joey: so pheebs,how you doin'?
pheebs:
(giggles) oh you cutie,just kiss me!!!!
(after the marriage ross and
rachel got another divorce, joey and phoebe moved
to antarctica and
phoebe had a pet fish that died because it got eaten by joey,
and monica
and chandler moved to live in the country and have a dog and a cat,
and 2
children 1 boy and 1 girl)
THE
END
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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